The act of two consenting adults engaging in regular sex can sometimes get boring when the action is centred only on the usual sex positions, such as doggy, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, scissors and many others.
Most relationships tend to hit rock bottom when either of both parties isn’t willing to explore new options of pleasuring themselves sexually.
They resent sex because it’s usually the same old routine of; kissing, a little bit of foreplay and straight to penetration. Some couples, however, who aren’t afraid to explore beyond their sexual limits, dare to go all the way in trying intense sexual practices, and have been able to maintain extreme exciting sex life.
Role play does it for some couples, while some don’t go past having sex in public places, such as the beach. What if you up your game and explore a whole new sexual atmosphere?
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What if you tried BDSM?
I know most readers would have heard about BDSM and thing first thing that comes to mind is how dark a practice it is, especially since it involves some specific level of pain. However, there is clearly a huge misconception about the practice of BDSM that needs clarification. Let us break it down.
What is BDSM?
The movie “Fifty Shades of Grey” should shed more light on what BDSM should look like between couples. Where Christian Grey tied Anne to the bedpost, and used of some toys on her, blowing her mind beyond her sexual wildest dreams.
Partners can also bring what they see in the movies to reality if they chose to and could also maintain it at the right degree they wanted to.
BDSM involves quite a number of external devices some of which are whips, gags, handcuffs, chains, ropes, ribbons and sex toys such as; vibrators, butt plugs, dildos, pocket pussy, etc.
BDSM is commonly termed as the collection of certain erotic acts stands for Bondage and discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism, and Masochism and can be practised by couples who aren’t afraid to take their sex game to a whole new crazy level.
1. Bondage & Discipline
The act involves a partner being tied up either loosely or tightly, with ropes, cute ribbons, handcuffs, silk ties for the purposes of sensual enjoyment, somatosensory stimulation or beautiful display.
Partners who are willing to try “Bondage” should watch the tightness of the binding, because it may cause injuries or worse if it gets too tight. Partners could surf the internet for better options.
Discipline involves the introduction of punishment or rules to correct or control naughty behaviours. You could apply this in the act to optimise the kinky action. Couples can discuss the options of acts they so choose and agree upon ahead of time.
My favourite is asking your partner an impossible mathematics question knowing they can’t readily solve it, would earn them punishment.
2. Dominion & Submission
For BDSM to entirely be effective, partners must assume the role of either a “Dominant” or a “Submissive”. This is a simple game of power exchange as one partner has a degree of control over the other.
Both parties could play either role as it best suits the action and the possibilities are endless as spouses explore the options of role play at it the highest level.
3. Sadism & Masochism
Couples who don’t mind a pinch of pain mixed with pleasure achieve greater sexual stimulations as “sadism and masochism” involves giving and getting pain.
Pain can be minimised and maximised depending on the threshold of both partners; hence, you don’t need to worry about any domestic violence or lasting marks on the skin.
There are some factors couples should put into consideration before introducing BDSM into their relationship. Consider the rules that help spice the BDSM act and build a better understanding between you and your partner.
Things to consider include
- Know what your partner likes: A partner could like being spanked, or choked or bitten but wouldn’t encourage being tied up, while it’s the other way round for some. Knowing what your partner is into beforehand makes the act of BDSM easier.
- Know what kinky toys your partners are comfortable with: Some men and women won’t condone any form of penetration close their anus. Some couples don’t mind exploring the use of butt plugs or dildo for sexual stimulations.
- Choose a safe word: Sometimes, BDSM could go overboard for partners who lose control and have their partners wanting out of the action. Safe words are the fastest means of letting your partners know if the act has gone past beyond its limit. It could be a straightforward word like a colour, “Black, Red or Blue”, it could be a sentence you both decide on. The point is, the safe word is said to let your partner know when to stop immediately.
- Know your partner’s threshold for pain: In order to avoid any incidents, it is highly advisable to discuss your threshold for pain and excitement with your partner. Know your boundaries. Experiment if you have to, but ensure you don’t inflict unwarranted pain as it may suck the fun out of the act.
- Ensure to seek your partner’s consent: Don’t assume your spouse would readily agree to have a BDSM with you without first discussing it. It could be verbal, written contract to establish an agreement between both parties.
- Watch yourselves and your gadgets: Be careful enough to make sure the toys you and your partner would be using are free of germs, and you both are not exposed to any form of infections. Practising BDSM requires a level of safety and trust to make it work.
Remember, your safety matters a lot. - Know your limits: Too much of everything is too much. Open communication about what you want and how you want it is highly essential as it goes a lot way in helping you maintain a healthy sexual, physical and social mentality. Don’t be afraid to discuss what you aren’t comfortable with your partner. Try not to rush into the act as it is much more complicated than it sounds, hence, it requires time to process.
BDSM has generally been frowned on as a result of the public misunderstanding about it. Don’t let that hinder your quest for sexual adventure.
Doing BDSM just right has shown to build healthier relationships among spouses. It won’t kill to give it a try. You just might love it.
