I used to think only I had a mind curious about the reason why men always announce that they are about to blow their load, not until I came across the same question on “Girls ask Guys”. I think it has become a general thing for men across the globe to announce when they are about to ejaculate.
There is hardly any sexually active female who hasn’t come across a male who says “I’m gonna cum” before he eventually does and we are OK with it, but the question is, is it necessary? Why do guys even say it at all?
It is almost always easy to know when a man is reaching that point because there are common signs that you don’t even have to look out for because they are there in your face like every time. One of those signs are sweating, that funny face they all make, faster thrusting, and the annoying part where they put all their weight on you as if there is a “cast all your burden on me ye who are heavy laden” sign on your forehead.
With all the mentioned signs, the “I’m gonna come” phrase remain popular so much so that the urban dictionary saw the need to define it. The Urban dictionary explains the expression as the one used during sex or masturbation, usually exclusively used by men.
A group of guys at a gym were asked when and why they have to announce before they cum and most of them responded “as soon as I feel the load building up” as the answer to when, and “it’s just a guy thing to do” as the answer to why.
Hey! It not as if we ladies never use the “I’m about to come” phrase, the only difference is the frequency, time, and the population of users.
Fact is, some ladies may never cum in their lifetime so they may never need to announce it unless they are fake-cumming which is something we do a lot of time. Ladies fake orgasm just so you guys can feel good and we just might start using the phrase more just so you guys don’t feel alone (just kidding)
Thanks to Mel magazine for doing what they called a “Three-way cum chat” between three staff writers at their office to help us better understand why guys say what they say before they spill the milk.
The chat is between Tracy (a straight female), C. Brian (a gay man), and John (a straight man). Below is the conversation as reported by MEL magazine in a March 2017 article.
Tracy asked: “So why do all guys say “I’m gonna cum” right before they cum?”
Brian Smith said: “Speaking for myself, at the moment, it’s almost reflexive, similar to how one might verbalize hunger pains or fatigue.”
John McDermott said: “That’s kind of a leading question, and presupposes that yes, men do always yell that right before they bust a nut. But do they? Having never been cummed on or in, I can’t speak to its prevalence, but yes, I have said it before. (I’m not sure how often, though.)”
Brian Smith said: “Having been both cummed on and in, I can, and I appreciate the heads-up.
Tracy: “I would say in my personal experience, and anecdotally from others, they all do. A few exceptions here and there, sure, but overwhelmingly men are a cum-announcing species. It’s like — stand back — a man about to cum.”
John: “That should be put on a construction warning sign.”
Brian: “I think there are several things at play here: One is giving the partner an opportunity to object, i.e., “No, don’t yet.” (Incidentally, that’s never happened; the response has always been in the affirmative.)”
Tracy: Guy: “I’m gonna cum!” Another person: “GRRREAT!”
Brian: “There’s also the matter of, “Watch out below!” Close eyes/mouth, or open them, depending on your preference.”
Tracy:” That’s the courtesy announcement. I will be now squirting a substance into/near/around/on you.”
Brian: “Finally, you can’t discount narcissism. “How could someone not be interested in what’s about to happen?”
Tracy: “It is, after all, the whole endgame, right?”
John: “Women have definitely told friends of mine to stop after hearing this information, presumably because they wanted the sexual experience to last longer. And by friends I mean myself.”
“Men, though, definitely do it as a courtesy — an opportunity to let the woman tell them where she’d like the cum dispensed. Which I think is only polite.”
Brian: “Who says chivalry is chauvinistic?”
Tracy: “I get the courtesy announcement if it’s also to ask where to put it.”
Brian: “Yeah, that’s hot I think. Like, “Do it here, XYZ!”
John: “I usually hear it as “DON’T do it here!”
Tracy: “Not on my cashmere sweater!” “I just got a blowout!” “This couch isn’t Scotchgard-ed!”
- Brian: “With women, isn’t there an added element of, “Make sure you pull out”?”
Tracy: “But that’s a whole other thing, the “Can I cum inside you?” question.”
John: “Well, if the guy announces and the woman says nothing, is that a tacit approval to cum inside her? Like, “Go ahead, I’m on birth control.” I think a lot of guys take it like that.”
Tracy: “I can’t imagine a woman wouldn’t respond to that question immediately.”
John: “But when a man announces, it’s sometimes hard to put the brakes on that train.”
Tracy: “But you’d pull out rather than risk it if she had a speech impediment. C. Brian: Gay sex almost always includes a condom, in my experience, so that’s kind of a moot point for me. That said, I’ve worded it as, “You’re going to make me cum.” In which case, I view it as a compliment.”
Tracy: “I think the women who announce it do so to ensure that their partner won’t stop what they’re doing and mess up them cumming. Or to turn you on. Possibly a signal for you to finish up as well, like that study that women make more noise — “copulatory vocalisations” — when they’re ready for you to finish so you’ll hurry up.”
John: “I can confirm that it’s hot and reassuring to hear a woman say she’s going to cum.”
Brian: “Ditto for gays.”
John: “A lot of straight dudes can’t jerk off to porn without the noise.”
Tracy: “If she doesn’t tell you she’s about to climax, so many guys are like… “Well… did you?”
John: “That’s always a fun question. And then you go through some intense calculus as to whether she’s lying to you or you’re just paranoid and insecure.”
Tracy: “So we agree this is an instrumental behaviour in men and women, gay and straight. Cumming must be announced, and should be announced.”
Brian: “Declared, even.”
Tracy: “For the good of society. It’s the ultimate decency. The better angels of our nature.”
Brian: “Now, one distinction here is in the case of premature ejaculators. I was with a guy once who told me he came “10 minutes ago” but didn’t want to disappoint me. It felt a little like I wasn’t invited to the party.”
Tracy: “I feel like when this happens, you can feel their dick isn’t as hard but they’re still going, and you don’t want just to stop and be like, “Hey, why we bullshitting?” Like they think maybe she won’t notice. She noticed.”
John: “Guys do that. They hope they can wait out their refractory period, and their boner will come back strong in no time, and they can hump their way through it.”
Tracy: “So why does every time a guy says he’s going to cum does he sound surprised? Does it really sneak up on you every time? It’s like an urgent surprise.”
Brian: “That’s what I’m saying about the reflexive nature. It’s almost like it startles you, like a sloppy sneeze.”
John: “Well, when you’re jerking off, it’s easier to know when because you’re in control. It is more of a surprise during sex with another person.”
Tracy: “The “I’m gonna cum!” voice is also identical in every man. I bet you could record every man saying it, and it’d be indistinguishable. Here’s where we need a super cut of men saying, “I’m gonna cum!” Too bad it doesn’t exist.”
Brian: “I feel like saying “I’m gonna cum” also shows vulnerability.”
Tracy: “Submission almost.”
Brian: “Right.”
Tracy: “I do not know that when guys don’t say it, I end up wondering when it’s ever going to happen.”
Brian: “Here’s a question: Is it always, “I’m gonna cum”? Or is it ever said in other ways? It’s an interesting devotion to vernacular.”
Tracy: “It’s always, “I’m gonna cum.”
Brian: “Not even “I’m going to cum.” Too clunky.”
Tracy: “It’s never, “I’m gonna bust a nut!” Or: “I’m about to splooge!”
“I’m about to launch this hyperward into space!” has also never come out.”
John: “My ejaculation is imminent.”
Tracy: “Bingo!”
Brian: “You ready for this?”
John: “Showtime!”
- Brian: “Hey now!”
Tracy: “There’s no better phrase than “I’m gonna cum.” The only thing shorter would just be “cumming.” Which would be weirdly efficient.”
Brian: “Robotic, even.”
Tracy: “I think we’ve agreed that in this case, the status quo is correct, good and efficient. We have evolved to precisely the point we should have.”
Brian: “Four syllables.”
Tracy: “What unites us all is, “I’m gonna cum.”
John: “I see no need to change it. Now, what about the sounds a man makes immediately after? URGHDFDFHIRRHGGH.”
Thank you Mel magazine ? ?, for finally letting us know that we have to live with the announcement for the rest of our lives. But really though, it is not a problem for us ladies to tolerate the warning and we appreciate it now that we know you guys do it for good reasons even though it is already a default setting!
