Almost every sexually active person has some fantasies, and a threesome is a common one. According to a study of 200 American adults carried out in 2015, it was discovered that one in every seven Americans aged 18 and above had had a threesome at a point in their life.
The same study also revealed that one in 5 Americans are interested in engaging in a threesome, and more males than females have had a threesome.
When it comes to discussing threesomes, most people focus on talking about the thrills and ignore an essential part of it; threesome etiquette.
Depending on the parties involved, whether or not two of the people are romantically involved, there are some specific dos and don’ts when it has to do with threesome etiquette.
There are many lessons that best not learned the hard way, and if we choose to shy away from basic threesome etiquettes before getting involved in one, we just might become victims.
What are these basics dos and don’ts?
Table of Contents
- Consent is a priority in this matter
- Build confidence in your relationship first
- Have a plan
- Talk about playing safe
- Make everyone feel fully included
- Don’t be selfish
- Know how to deal with rejection
- Be sensitive about who you ask to be your threesome unicorn
- Respect the deadline
Consent is a priority in this matter
Before you engage in a threesome, make sure to get the consent of all parties involved and be certain they are equally as excited about it as you are. You don’t want anybody feeling like you pressured them to have sex with you.
Be sure of what your intention for the threesome is, and if you are in a relationship with one of the other parties, discuss it with them and agree.
If your partner doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea of a threesome, abort mission immediately, so you do not come off as selfish and create the impression that you have a hidden agenda. Never engage in a threesome to please your partner if it isn’t something you personally want to do.
Build confidence in your relationship first
If you are considering having a threesome with the person you are dating, the part where you introduce is the issue is where etiquette becomes the primary thing. You do not want your partner to feel sad or less of themselves in any way so approaching the topic delicately is imperative. Have confidence in what you share with your partner.
You know your relationship with your partner better than anybody else, If you know you and your partner are having jealousy issues, it is not a good idea to bring up the topic of a threesome until the both of you have built a strong foundation of trust, and you are certain their feelings are protected.
Have candid conversations and make your partner feel safe so that issues of cheating and the possibility of you getting emotionally attached to the outsider doesn’t come up.
Have a plan
Agree with your partner what the boundaries should be and make sure that all parties are ready to respect these boundaries.
If you are single and just want to have fun with two other single people, discuss what your expectations are and also what limits should be respected in other to have the whole situation under control before it even begins.
When every party involved is on the same page, nobody feels cheated or used at the end of the episode, and nothing gets awkward. Planning makes the experience better for everyone involved.
Talk about playing safe
Yes, you want to have sex with people and enjoy the pleasure of bringing your fantasy to reality but remember you have to make your health a priority.
Talk about how you would like to use protection, the kind of protection you prefer, and make sure everyone agrees to the use of protection without feeling embarrassed.
If you cannot have the safe sex talk because you feel the other parties will be offended by it, look for people who share the same idea of having sex the safe way.
Make everyone feel fully included
One issue most people end up having during threesomes is that one party might feel neglected.
Create an atmosphere that allows everyone to join in freely and do whatever it is they think they should be doing that is not against the rule initially stated before the threesome. When people feel equally involved, it is easier to call them back the next time you want to have a threesome,
Don’t be selfish
A threesome involves not one, not two, but three individuals. Therefore, it is vital that you do not make it all about you being pleasured.
You and you partner may have decided that the unicorn doesn’t get a vagina penetration or something of that sort, but make sure that extra person receives an equal amount of pleasure in whatever way you feel you can provide it.
Nobody gets involved in a threesome with the intention to give and not get pleasure in return.
Know how to deal with rejection
If you are searching for a unicorn for your threesome, have it in mind that not everybody out there is interested in such a thing, so you are likely to get a couple of nos before you eventually get a yes.
If a potential unicorn rejects you, don’t get offended or get violent with the person. Move on and keep searching till you find someone who is willing to engage.
Be sensitive about who you ask to be your threesome unicorn
Just like every other thing you do as a person that involves relating with other people, Knowing who can tolerate what is essential when it comes to the issue of sex. Make sure not to ask a person who obviously will feel offended or accuse you of sexual assault.
Make sure also not to get involved with someone who will potentially be a threat to your relationship or try to blackmail you into doing a thing you do not want to do. Never ask an ex for a threesome with someone you are currently dating.
Respect the deadline
After the threesome, if you have decided from the start that the end is the end, that should be it for everyone. When it is ongoing, you are allowed to enjoy it but once it is over, do not bug any of the parties for whatever reason.
Focus on moving on to other things and only get in touch if you all have agreed to do it again some other time.
