If you are ready to have sex for the first time, then there are chances that you have received some form of sex education.
If you haven’t, this post will most likely be beneficial to you as it also teaches you all you need to know about preparing for your first sexual experience.
1. Have no fear, just relax
Many people make the mistake of letting fear clouds their mind when it’s time to have sex for the first time. It may be a good idea also to explore your body beforehand to understand what you like and what you may not enjoy.
The ultimate goal is to have a pleasant sexual experience, so endeavor to relax.
2. Have protected sex
Don’t be too excited about having sex that you forget the need to stay protected. There are so many sexually transmitted infections out there, and some of them have no cure.
Asides from that, you do not want to impregnate someone when you’re not ready, neither do you want to get pregnant when you’re not prepared. Condoms are available at your local pharmacy stores; do well to get a pack.
3. You might (or might not!) bleed
Many people believe that every woman or every person with a vagina bleeds the very first time they engage in penetrative sex. That is far from being entirely accurate.
Yes, some people actually bleed the first time, and it’s often bleeding caused by the hymen stretching—a thin and delicate piece of tissue that is a few inches inside the vagina.
Studies have shown that more than 50 percent of people with vaginas don’t bleed the first time. This is because there are other activities that can stretch the hymen, such as jumping on a trampoline, running, or riding a bike.
Also, you can experience bleeding after sex at any time in your life—not only the first time. Once more: lube is your new best buddy.
4. Remember that it is not appropriate to compare your experience with anyone else’s
It is not only necessary that you temper your expectations when going into sex for the first time, but you should also know that’s your experience cannot be the same as someone else’s.
If in the long run, your relationship with the first person you have sex with doesn’t work, do not beat yourself up about it. It is not an experience to regret but one to move on from.
5. You don’t have to inform someone that it’s your first time, but you may want to
No new partner has the right to a full report of anyone’s sexual history. Whether you’ve had sex with 50 people or zero humans, that’s your business.
However, getting sexually intimate with someone for the first time can be intimate. If you think that you’re withholding something significant to you, it may negatively affect your comfort level and overall experience.
If you tell your partner that you’ve never had sex before you met them, and they freak out, then they’re likely not someone you should be with anyway. They are meant to take that as a cue to be even more open and communicative with you.
6. Being safe can relax you
Being relaxed is the best way to enjoy your first sexual experience. And nothing can distract you worse than being worried about unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections during sex.
It is crucial that you discuss protection with your partner beforehand and do not agree to have sex if they refuse to use a condom.
7. Enthusiastic consent is a prerequisite for all that you do
Having sex with an unenthusiastic partner is the worst thing ever. Make sure that whoever you’re getting involved with is as excited about it as you are.
On the other hand, if you are not interested in having sex with the first person that makes an advance, do well not to give your consent. Nobody has the right to force you into having sex, and you also have the right to say no to unwanted sexual advances.
Once both of you have agreed to have sex, and you are both enthusiastic about exploring each other’s bodies, you can go ahead.
8. Remember to breathe
It is very common for people who are having sex for the first time to be distracted. If you find your mind racing and not focusing on what you’re experiencing, then it is time for you to engage in some deep breathing.
One of the benefits of deep breathing is that you get to enjoy every single Sensation that comes with your sexual experience, and you can also concentrate on how it feels for your partner’s body to be rubbing against yours.
Never rush straight into penetrative sex. It is common knowledge that the more aroused a person is, the higher their chances of actually enjoying sex.
There are so many unique ways to enjoy foreplay, and these include kissing, oral sex, and hand jobs. Ensure that you read more about foreplay or even watch videos to give you an idea of what you might like in the bedroom.
If you are the owner of the vagina, you might just be excited to try out some clitoral play on your own or have your partner play with your clitoris before sex.
10. Caring about your partner’s pleasure is more important than your technique
It’s very natural to worry that you may not be “good” in bed when you first have sex. However, what matters most is how invested you are in how your partner feels and how you feel. It’s also crucial that you both communicate about it.
The sexual performance will improve with time. However, if you try to practice all the sex positions you have watched on television or read about in books, you are just going to end up ruining the entire experience for you and your partner.
Also, do not try to impress by overdressing or doing so much about your looks. If you are not relaxed and confident in your own skin, you may not want to have sex.
11. Feedback is different from criticism, so don’t hesitate to give it
One primary concern that first-timers have with sex is the fear of communicating what they like and dislike to their partner. Some people may feel that if they tell their partner about something that doesn’t feel right, they may feel attacked.
It is important to note that a partner who cares about you will be pleased to know what they can do to make your first sexual experience exciting and pleasurable.
If you are uncertain about what exactly would be pleasurable, mainly because it’s your first time, it is ok to wait till the end of your first sexual encounter before you discuss what you would like to omit and what you would like to try next time.
12. Lube is your friend now and always
Using lube can sometimes be seen as a sign that you’re uninterested or not turned on enough. However, even if you and your body decide actually to do this, a little bit of lube can make your sexual experience much more pleasurable.
Another good reason to use water- or silicone-based lube with your condom (avoid any oil-based lube, which may degrade latex) is that reduced friction means the condom will likely to tear.
Sex is one of nature’s most beautiful gifts, and it is only right that you enjoy it. Do not have sex with just anybody; make sure your first experience is with someone you genuinely care about and feel the same way about you.
If you have any questions about your health, or if you feel any discomfort during or after sex, do not hesitate to contact your doctor.