Erotic spanking is one of the sexual acts used to inject spontaneity and spice in the bedroom or virtually anywhere a couple can get intimate. Gone are the days when sex or the build-up to sex was mechanical and monotonous with just a few styles executed.
Creativity has come to stay in sex, and people constantly look for ways to spice up their sexual lives by incorporating erotic spanking.
According to a pleasure coach, Tyomi Morgan, “Erotic spanking is a form of consensual impact play that uses hands or tools to strike the butt, thighs, breasts, or other fleshy parts of the body.”
Tyomi Morgan also stated that “spanking releases a cocktail of ‘feel-good chemicals’ in your brain to reverse the initial feeling of pain. “Dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin, and endorphins are released, transmuting the impact into a pleasurable experience.”
Who can engage in erotic spanking?
Anybody interested in spicing up their sex life can practice erotic spanking. This romantic or sexual gesture is executed by slapping the buttocks of your partner.
Spanking is done to induce pleasure, and it is mostly practiced by people with a fetish for the butt.
It is one of the most popular sex kinks, and it doesn’t necessarily need sex to occur before it can be done. Some couples can engage in some foreplay and use a little spanking here and there, even while fully clothed.
It is a kink that’s easy to execute, and if done well, adds an exotic pleasure to the whole romance.
What is erotic spanking to those who haven’t tried it before?
Compared to other kinks such as cuffing and choking, spanking is far more popular, accepted, and practiced. However, the degree of spanking depends on the circumstances and the couple involved. It can be hardcore or soft BDSM, it could be fun, light, and sultry, or it could be extreme.
Pleasure and pain are two extremes on a spectrum, and pain, if applied well, can boost pleasure in a unique way not experienced before.
It can trigger the release of endorphins, which will induce a state of natural intoxication. This state heightens your arousal and pleasure sensation and makes you crave for more.
It is a low-maintenance sex kink because the only equipment you need to make it happen is your hands (or tools, if available) and a bum to spank. The kink doesn’t need a specific position or posture to be executed before it can be done.
It does not require any form of preparation or a specific location. But despite the ease of this kink, a few factors should be considered.
Some of the factors that should be considered before proceeding with this sex kink include:
No unexpected moves
It would be best if you communicate with your partner, even in romantic situations. Communication could be verbal or non-verbal, depending on your level of intimacy or the strength of your bond.
If you want to get innovative about your sexual life or take an existing funk to a whole new level, it should be discussed with your partner.
Always make sure communication occurs before you make a move that involves that kind of physical contact with someone else. It’s not wise for it to come as a surprise.
The best thing is to seek out consent first to avoid issues that may arise. By consent, I don’t mean silence or indifference.
Details on what you both want and don’t want should be ironed out and specifications of boundaries for certain actions.
Usage of safe or code words
It is always essential to develop an established communication system derived from the usage of certain code words to indicate or asses the position or willingness of the recipient.
Since your attention won’t often be on the face of your partner, a lot of clues that could have been passed from facial expressions tend to get lost.
This could generate misunderstanding if not checked or rectified. Hence, the usage of code words. Common ones are “red,” “yellow,” and “green.” Red indicates an unwillingness to continue.
Yellow indicates a willingness to continue but a warning that the kinkiness is getting overwhelming. Green indicates full willingness to continue.
When you begin to consider introducing spanking into your sex life, there needs to be an understanding of why spanking should be introduced. Both parties need to have expectations that should be clearly expressed and aired out.
Expectations of the giver could be the sensation or feeling that comes from that kind of physical contact. From the receiver, it could be a pain, shame, or helplessness.
If both expectations don’t align or are in discord, it could trigger issues. For instance, if the receiver is put off by the pain and the giver wants to inflict some, it could ignite trouble.
Finding a partner you can rely on before exploring your forbidden desires and cravings is necessary. Before one decides to invigorate or spice up the sexual aspect of an already established relationship, it means that person can rely on their partner.
Reliability can still be found for new relationships, but caution must be taken, and boundaries need to be firmly given.
How it begins
This is an essential factor in weeding out unpleasant surprises when it’s time to get kinky. It doesn’t matter whether you are the giver or the receiver.
It is wise to begin with some little foreplay that can put you in the mood. Once aroused, gestures such as grabbing the butt, rubbing, massaging and even kissing is a good way to warm up.
It could get you and your partner to begin spanking cheerfully and yearning for more.
How it builds
It is wise to start on a light note and gradually build the magnitude as you go. The giver should continue checking if the receiver feels good about the touches and their feelings about it.
This is to check if they are going too far or too fast.
You can fine-tune the setting by executing light slaps playfully while ensuring you have the receiver’s consent all the way. A careful build-up will ensure that boundaries are not trespassed, and nothing can go wrong.
Your preferred technique
There is an availability of various tools that can support your spanking kink. These may include tools such as canes, belts, paddles, and floggers. However, it is always wise to begin with your hands because of the safety it communicates.
Using those tools outrightly could scare your partner. One reason why beginning with hands is advisable is those slaps delivered also reverberates on the palm. This gives feedback to the giver about the level of intensity of that slap.
They can gauge how hard they hit and if they have gone too far. If the spanking has gone too intense for the receiver, it’s also intense for the giver but in another way.
To reduce the painful sensation that will emit from the spank, the giver needs to keep their fingers linked together instead of separated.
This is a good technique since it enables the spanking session to go on and on without any issue or any boundary trespass. It’s a safe way to explore your kinkiness without taking the receiver to his or her pain limit.
The giver should also focus on the more fleshy parts of the butt, not the bony parts. More flesh means more pain tolerance. The spank should be done with an upward movement of the palm. Avoid using lubricants in the area you intend to spank.
Also do not let sweat, spit, or any fluid stay on the area you want to spank. These fluids or lube can enhance your spank and make the pain much sharper.
Another useful technique is to spread your slaps. Do not slap a specific area repeatedly as it may cause bruises. Hit different areas and alternate between them.
This technique also allows the spanking to go on undisturbed for a longer time. Another technique is alternating between strong and light touches. This combination can ignite extra pleasure.
Psychological aftercare is more essential than physical ones. Activities that constitute physical aftercare includes rubbing oil on, massaging, and caressing the bruised surfaces after the spanking session has been concluded. These activities can make the receiver feel good but not as good as the psychological aftercare.
Activities such as switching to another sex-themed experience (oral sex or kissing), cuddling, seeing how they feel, and so on, constitute psychology aftercare.
These can take away feelings of awkwardness. Though the butt is the major area that gets spanked, other areas usually spanked are the thighs and the breasts.
Any form of kinkiness or BDSM completely turns some people off. Such people are vanilla in their sex life and are easily put-off by a sex kink such as spanking without being willing to try it out.
However, spanking is just a tool that can be used to spice up your sex life. It can be enjoyed between partners that are vanilla sexually.
It doesn’t warrant going for a spanking tool such as a paddle, belt, or setting up a special room like what you watched in Fifty Shades of Grey. Spanking is the kind of kink that can be enjoyed provided it is practiced within the agreed boundaries.
It doesn’t necessarily need to involve pain. Sexuality is a spectrum, and its spheres can be discovered one after the other without trespassing boundaries or forsaking what we believe in.