Basic 69 Etiquette Even Pros Don’t Know


It’s never been stated explicitly, but it is quite evident that most sex acts are much more pleasurable for one sexual partner than the other.

We know that when it is manual sex, it is more pleasurable for the receiver. What about oral sex? It is more pleasurable for the receiver than the giver. And penetrative sex? Of course, it is more pleasurable for the penetrator.

However, there is one sex act that has been discovered to be pleasurable for both partners. And that’s the selfless 69 position.

This infamous dual-oral sex position has seen a massive resurgence in popularity — especially online — in recent years. Any time there is a mention of the number “69” on Twitter or any other popular social media platform, it certainly will elicit a chorus of replies stating, “Great.” Try it and see for yourself.

Whatever the message that one-word reply seeks to convey, it’s a fair point that the dual-oral sex position is nice.

Let’s be honest about the whole 69 thing. Of course, it is not life-changing, we can’t say it is spectacular. But one thing is sure; 69 is a delightful position because both parties get pleasured equally.

Yes, you may want to argue that you cannot relax fully to the point where you reach a climax, but as you already know – never say never. The bottom line is that everybody wants to enjoy themselves while having sex, and 69 helps you to achieve just that.

What can we say, that’s the magic of the 69 positions; you’re always in the middle. For some people, 69ing is overrated. But no, not when you open your mind to the endless possibilities.

Once you have entirely accepted that 69 is a position that is not created to make any of the partners orgasms, then you can enjoy it’s genuinely for what it is: a position that is explicitly created to tease and tantalize you and your partner.

If you’re reading this article, then it is possible that you came here because you want to know how to do it right, and also discover all about proper 69 etiquettes. Let’s dive right in and explore.

Table of Contents

1. What Is a 69?

When it comes to the origin of 69, there are several theories to explore. While some people think that it was invented in 1969 (which I do not agree with), one fact remains, and that is both numbers accurately represents what goes on during dual oral sex.

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Even though three or more individuals can engage in oral sex simultaneously, having more than two partners involved in this practice is significantly more complicated.

The fact remains that at its core, the 69 sex positions are really just a two-person thing.

2. Tips for 69ing Properly

There is no correct way to have a 69 — just focus on doing what feels right for both you and your partner. You may discover that using both hands together with your mouth will allow you to come up to enjoy the experience better and come up for air when you need to as you more thoroughly enjoy the experience.

Once you have figured out what works perfectly for you and your partner, then you have found the right way to do a 69! However, if you’re just a beginner and you’re in search of specific tips, we have put together a few things you need to consider.

For beginners, as with other oral sex, it is not a terrible idea to take a shower before you begin so that your partner knows they are playing with clean sex organs (unless your partner enjoys it better when you’re sweaty).

Also, if you aren’t sure about your STI status or that of your partner, it would be smart to use condoms or dental dams. Using these mediums of perfection will reduce or eliminate the chances of getting an infection.

One vital tip to take note of is that whichever partner has the most weight or is bigger and heavier has to go on the bottom. Unless what you’re doing is a sideways 69, the partner on the bottom will most likely carry the burden of the top partner’s weight.

So at the top-light, and at the bottom-heavy, is a setup that will probably feel very comfortable for the both of you.

It won’t be bad for you to consider taking turns when doing the 69 positions. Meaning, that while one partner pleasures the other one orally for a little bit, the recipient takes a break and enjoys receiving rather than giving, all of this happens while staying in the 69 positions the entire time.

3. The Benefits of 69ing

Apart from the fact that you will be able to talk when people are talking about engaging in 69, are there any other benefits you stand to enjoy from practicing this infamous sex position? Let’s find out.

First, well, you already know that the 69 position involves oral sex. In fact, too much of it. So, unless you are one of those people who categorically do not like oral sex, there is every possibility that you would enjoy yourself throughout the experience.

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But then, one of the most obvious benefits of doing a 69 is that it is almost like a two for the price of one sex position. And it is beneficial to people who are in a hurry.

So if you’re one of the few people who think the traditional oral sex is uncomfortable, whether you are giving or receiving, or you think it is too much pressure, then engaging in a 69 will be the best for you because it is less orgasm focused and more reciprocal.

Also, a 69 is a very intimate sex position, so you and your partner can feel more connected throughout the experience.

4. The Drawbacks of 69ing

As with everything that has lots of positives, there are a number of negatives to expect. So, what could possibly be the drawbacks of engaging in a 69?

Well, let us begin by stating the obvious. With a 69, it is difficult for both partners to achieve an orgasm as they pleasure each other simultaneously.

Alternately, you might discover that your partner takes a break from pleasuring you because they’re too aroused to concentrate. Regardless, when two people decide to pleasure each other simultaneously orally, they must know it is something that’s difficult to keep up indefinitely.

However, the whole thing can work out just fine, if you do the 69 positions, but switch things up by taking turns to lick, suck, touch, stroke, and kissing. All you have to do is keep taking turns till you are both satisfied.

However, critics might conclude that that doesn’t accurately ‘count’ as a 69. Regardless, it is one way to approach the dilemma.

Note that critics might say that taking turns does not count as engaging in a 69 position, but we can agree that this is one of the most effective ways of tackling the problem.

Another challenge you may encounter when doing 69 is body arrangements. You would either need a flat surface or a bed to stay comfortably and enjoy the sex position.

If what you want is a quickie, you can’t easily do it anywhere you like unless there is a flat surface available to you.

5. Anal 69ing

You may never have heard about anilingus before now, but you most definitely have heard about butt play.

Both sexual activities have gained mainstream acceptance and are fast becoming more famous in recent years. Well, if you’re open to exploring, it’s worth considering to include a little bit of anal action to the mix when you’re having a 69.

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One thing I found out is that not every person is comfortable with having their anus played with, especially without prior warning.

So, if you’re thinking about engaging in some anal stimulation with your partner, make sure to seek their consent before proceeding. Even after asking before sex, make sure to ask again in the heat of the moment just so that you both are on the same page before you do anything.

Depending on you and your partner’s height match-up, it is sometimes possible for you to reach their anus with your tongue while they pleasure you with their tongue. However, if you find out it is impossible, you can go ahead to stimulate with your finger or simply use a sex toy.

6. Notable 69 Variations

The traditional 69

With the traditional 69 positions, the bigger and heavier partner is required to lie on their back while the lighter and smaller partner lies on the top. The smaller partner will either lay on their partner’s chest or simply prop themselves up on their elbows or knees.

The partner at the bottom can then grasp the one at the top buttocks for more stability or if ass grabbing arouses their partner. In a case like this, spanking is also a considerable option.

Sideways 69

The sideways 69 is a less common variant of the sex position, but it is also a relatively straight forward one. This position is a great one if neither of you can take the other’s weight or if you have a slimmer surface to work with.

The sideways 69 works precisely the same way the traditional 69 works except for this time nobody lies on their back; both partners have to lay on their sides facing each other.

The Upside-Down 69

Finally, there is the upside-down 69 for couples that are genuinely courageous and willing to explore.

This type of 69 requires a powerful bottom partner that has the capacity of holding the other partner up in the air for a long. If you do not have a reliable partner, or if you’re not strong, you could use some form of support.

This pattern of 69 can be risky, except you’re a gymnast. This variant of 69 has a decent amount of risk, so you have to be extremely careful if you decide to take part in it. However, it is gratifying.

Whatever the type of 69, you decide to engage in making sure that your mind is open to the enjoyment and numerous possibilities to explore. Sex is all about what works best for you and your partner.

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